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An open letter to Margaret Moran - Thursday 30th July, 2009
Dear Margaret Moran:
Resign now or your bay tree will pay the price of your greed.
You have insulted us with your theft of public funds and disgraced yourself by clinging to office. With no effective means of legal redress, with no political mechanism to remove you from office until the next election and with no prospect of eliciting a sense of dignity or shame in yourself (this would be like asking a leech to have personal pride) you leave us no option but direct action. To this end we have kidnapped your potted bay tree from one of your homes.
Although the bay tree is a legitimate political target for direct action it is being cared for and well treated. Indeed despite finding itself a hostage the bay tree is in considerably better health than when it remained in your possession.
However, to quote a well-known doctor, 'The time has come, the time is now. Just go, go, go! ! I don't care how'.
Instead of clinging to office for the sake of your salary and pension, for the sake of democracy you must stand down. You have until 7.58pm on Sunday 2nd August 2009 to resign or your bay tree will pay the price.
You can contact either one of the mainstream news outlets in time for the appropriate news bulletins or use the e-mail facilities on www.markthomasinfo.com using the approved passwords %%%% %%%% %%%%%'.
This message is sent to you by the MPs Houses Open Day Society, which was set up in response to a policy selected by the audience at a Mark Thomas Manifesto show in Leicester. The policy is: "Any MP that has had excessive public money paid to them for 2nd homes allowances should have open days for the public. We paid for it we should be able to enjoy it!"
Sincerely,
MPs Houses Open Day Society
UPDATE: Margaret didn't resign so her bay tree was beheaded live on the 4th Plinth at Trafalgar Square on Sunday 2nd August and was made into a lovely Minestrone soup.
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