Tracey Moberly Sanders-Wood
BILL AND ZED'S BAD ADVICE
we've fucked up our lives, now it's your turn
Dear Bill And Zed
Could you see yourself getting behind David Cameron?
ZED: Only if he was stood at the top of a cliff.
BILL: Over here they have proper politicians. Could you imagine Putin riding a bike? When Putin needs to get to the airport, his cavalcade grinds all of Moscow's traffic to a halt, thus reminding the good Muscovites who is in charge. If you politicians are not in charge, what is the point of having them?
Ah, I just noticed you're from Whitechapel. Have you ever heard my theories on the Whitechapel murders. Invite me round for dinner when I get back from Russia. I will entertain you and your family with a full reenactment of the murders in your front room. One murder between each course. As for David Cameron invite him round as well. He won't be riding that bike in too much of a hurry after that. And lastly, it has been brought to my attention by the internationally renowned Welsh artist Tracey Tracey that Russian men refuse to go down and chew the minge. Her theory is that that is why Russian women have such sour faces. If you have any thoughts that may throw light on this matter please contact me via the Idler.